I’m not a number, I’m a great story from Gaza. Remember that News about the conflict of Izreel-Palestine

I didn’t expect to feel death so close to me. I used to say that death came suddenly, we don’t feel it, but during this war they made us feel everything … slowly.

I’ll trade before it happens, as he expects the house to be bombed.

It may still stand from the beginning of the war, but that feeling of fear remains in you. That fear was carrying my heart down, until I feel like he can’t handle anything more.

From the beginning of the war, I fought with the Israeli army that is so close. I remembered the moment in a netzarim area and I sent a message to all my friends, shocked, “How did they get in Gaza? I’m dreaming?!”

I waited to withdraw from Gaza, because he was free again, as we always knew him. They are so close to where I am, in Al-Fukhari, east of Khan Younis and north of Rafah. It is a place where Khan Younis and Rafah begins.

They are so close, forcing us to hear scary explosions every moment, making that endless sounds.

This war is different, so differs from what I experienced earlier.

Remember my story

I don’t want to be a number.

It is stuck in my head since I saw martyrs called “unknown people” or placed in mass graves. Some of them are even parts of the body that could not be identified.

Is it possible that everything that could be “young woman in black / blue blouse” on my canvas?

Can I die as a “unknown person”, just a number?

I want everyone around me I remember my stories. I’m not a number.

I am a girl who studied for high school and university under exceptional circumstances when Gaza was under very tight siege. I graduated from the university and asked for a job everywhere to help my father, who is exhausting the siege and lost his job several times.

I am the oldest daughter in my family and I wanted to help my father and to have a good home in which to live.

Wait … I don’t want to forget anything.

I’m a refuge. My grandmothers and grandmas were refugees that have been delivered by Israeli occupation to leave our busy land in 1948. years.

They moved to Gaza and lived in a refugee camp Khan Younis, west of the city.

I was born in that camp, but the Israeli army did not let me continue my life there.

Rusili are our house in 2000. years, and we stayed without shelter for two years. We moved from an uninhabited house to another, until Unrwa gave us another house in Al-Fukhari.

That wonderful area, with all agricultural land, where we tried to build life in the neighborhood called “European housing”, after the European hospital was there.

The house was small, insufficient for a family of five, with his father and mother. It took her extra rooms, living room and kitchen needed.

We lived there for about 12 years, and as soon as I could, I started working around 2015. I help my father.

I helped him make the house to live. Yes, we scored that, but it was so hard. We finished building our home only three months before 7. October 2023. years.

Yes, almost 10 years I spent renewing him by a piece according to our financial abilities, and we just managed to finish it before the war.

When the war came, I was already exhausted, from the siege and the difficulty of life in Gaza. Then the war came to drain me completely, they carry my heart and I make me lose the focus.

I wake up running

From the beginning of the war, we fight for something.

The struggle for survival, fighting not to die from hunger or thirst, fighting not to lose our minds from the horrors we witness and experience.

We try to survive in any way. We went through displacement – I lived in my life in four houses, and each house ended near the bombing of the Israeli army.

We don’t have a safe place to be. Before breaking fire, we lived 500 days of pure terror.

What I didn’t do during the war, unfortunately, he cried. I tried to stay strong and kept my sadness and anger inside, which exhausted my heart and weakened more.

I was positive and supporting everything around you. Yes, people from the north will be back. Yes, the army will withdraw from Netzari. I wanted to give everyone strength, while in me was a great weakness I didn’t mean to show.

I felt that if she showed up, doom in this intimidate war.

The application was my big hope for survival. I felt like I did it. The war was over.

When people wonder: “Will the war return?” I’ve been confidently answered, “No, I don’t think that won’t. The war is over.”

The war returned and closer to me than ever. I lived a continuous fear that he brought by continuous shelling. They used every type of weapon against us – rockets, plane shells and tanks. The tanks were constantly firing, the covers were flying; Everything was scary.

I didn’t really sleep for more than a week. If I do, I woke up with the sound of an explosion and I wake up. I don’t know where I’m trying to go, but I run through the house.

In a constant panic, I put my hand on my heart, I wonder if it would erase much more.

So I sent a message to all my friends, asking them to talk about my story so I wouldn’t just be a number.

We live through unbearable days until the Israeli army destroys the neighborhood around me. There are still many families live here. They do not want to leave, because displacement is exhausting – physically, financially and mentally.

I remember the first volume, that was 2000. year, when I was about eight years.

Israeli milders entered the Khan Younis camp and destroyed my uncle and my grandfather’s house. Then they stopped at our house for some reason.

That’s how we left. It was Ramazan, and my parents thought we could come back later. They found a decayed shell of the house for us to temporarily remove to the shelter, they thought.

I couldn’t stand the idea that we lost our home, so I’d come back to the house where all those beautiful memories with my grandparents, and I’d take a few things I’ll return to my mother.

The Israeli army collapsed our house the night before Eid, and I and my family went there on the first day of Eid al-Fid. I remember the celebration of the EID on the ruins, carrying my new EID clothes.

The Israeli army does not allow us to remain anything; Everything destroys, leaving us nothing but sad in our hearts.

I don’t know what the future holds if the world is not saving us from this scary army.

I don’t know if my heart will withstand these endless sounds. Never forget me.

I fought hard for my life. I worked hard as a journalist and teacher for 10 years, dedicating.

I have students I love and colleagues with whom I have beautiful memories.

Life in Gazi was never easy, but we love it, and we cannot love any other home.